


Sleep

by QueenOfNowhere



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, F/M, Pre-Canon, Sleep, ark, they meet on the ark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 01:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3876670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNowhere/pseuds/QueenOfNowhere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy and Clarke meet on the Ark but to think their relationship would turn out to be any easier would be foolish. || Songfic to Sleep by Citizen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We both fell asleep on the floor, then I left you there

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, to be honest, I don't even know what I am doing here. This kind of just popped into my head when I was listeing to Sleep by Citizen (which is a great song that you should definitely check out if you don't know it yet!)
> 
> Obviously, I don't own anything but the plot.

_We both fell asleep on the floor, then I left you there_

It was dark so it was hard to see and Bellamy blinked disoriented. He wasn’t in his bed. As the dizziness faded, it did not take long until he remembered. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath before turning on his right side just to find a blonde girl next to him.

Her eyes were closed, her breathing went evenly and calm and her face looked relaxed. She was still fast asleep. He couldn’t help but think how beautiful she looked in that moment.

He closed his eyes, remembering the previous night, the taste of her in his mouth, the feeling of her bare skin under his fingertips, her sweet smell occupying his nostrils. There had been nothing else in the world for him except for her. His head had been filled with nothing except for her. And for a second he even dared to believe that that was the way things could be from now on. She could be part of his life. A real part, a constant part but he forced himself to throw that illusion away now.

Silently, he swore at himself. He shouldn’t have given in, shouldn’t have been so weak. He promised himself to never touch her, to never let anything happen between them.

The first time he laid eyes on her, she was still a little child. He had just turned 15 and was having a little bit of a rebellious phase, feeling unappreciated by his mother, constantly being pressured and having thrown so much responsibility his way, responsibility he was not ready to take yet. He had just been walking through one of the corridors, shoving everyone aside who got in his way, not willing to pay any attention.

He was heading for the black market which never failed to put him in a bad mood. That’s when 10 year old Clarke Griffin showed up and told him straight ahead what an asshole he was being. Of course, she used nicer words but it was basically the bottom line. He remembered how perplex he had been, staring at the little girl in front of him, with her hands resting at her hips, sending him a disapproving look. Before he could say anything, a woman called for her and she just left him standing there.

She made an impression but as it turned out she was a Phoenician so he didn’t expect to see her again.

How wrong he should be. Apparently, she had been told to stay away from Walden, so naturally she did the exact opposite, searching him just days later.

At first, he tried to get rid of her but Clarke was stubborn and determined, not letting him just brush her off and he soon got used to her. Still, one could hardly say they were getting along. She seemed to just love to get on his nerves and he got easily annoyed. They would constantly pick fights but still didn’t stay away from each other. Over the years their relationship changed, they learned to accept and respect each other, became acquaintances and at some point friends.

He started to see things in her, he never would have imagined, like the way her smile lit up her whole face, her eyes twinkled and her body looked in tight clothes.

He shook his head slightly. He was too scared of losing her to ever really acknowledge what it meant, how his feelings towards her changed.

Being friends was save, being lovers was dangerous. So he promised himself to never get closer to her and he failed miserably.

He bit his lower lip when he felt like the room was suddenly closing in on him. What if things would be weird now? What if he was going to lose her now? He couldn’t take that risk.

He sat up and ran a hand through his hair. He had to get away, get some air and some time to think. The room Bellamy had taken Clarke to was one of the rooms the guards used for stocking weapons. She would be safe. No one would come inside here unless a war would all of a sudden start.

He glanced at her one last time and couldn’t resist. He leaned forward and breathed one last kiss on her forehead before standing up and grabbing his clothes to leave.


	2. You spent so many days alone, so I'll kill myself to make things fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! :)

_You spent so many days alone, so I'll kill myself to make things fair_

 

Two weeks. Almost two whole weeks had passed, in which Bellamy didn’t see so much as a stray of Clarke’s blonde hair. He knew it was his fault. He avoided her since the night in the weapon room and probably made things even worse that way.

Leaving her alone was already cruel, not contacting her afterwards was cruel and avoiding her for two weeks was cruel.

The way he knew her, she was probably making up some weird scenario in her head, as to why they had not seen each other since that night.

It was not like this way easy for him either. He wanted to be with her, talk to her and reassure her but he was scared of facing her. What if things would be different now? What if, when he looked at her, she would be different?

He was scared of losing the girl he loved and he knew that he was not ready to handle it.

He could never be what she wanted, what she needed. It didn’t matter that he wanted to see her again, be with her again every single day over the last two weeks because he couldn’t do that.

Octavia, his little sister, needed him even more. She had no one but him and he already felt like he was really neglecting her. When he was with Clarke, he didn’t worry and that was dangerous because when he stopped worrying something might happen to his sister. After all, his mother was no help at all and he was the only one Octavia had. So, he had no time for a girlfriend, he had no time to spend with her, he couldn’t be there for her as long as Octavia was there since she would always come first.

And that’s not what Clarke deserved. Clarke deserved someone who never put her second, who she would always be number one to, no matter what.

And Bellamy just couldn’t be that person. He didn’t deserve her and it killed him. It killed him, just thinking about someone else kissing her, touching her, being with her the way he used to be with her. It was driving him insane. But he had to keep his distance, for his own sake, for Octavia’s and for Clarke’s.

At least, that’s what he kept telling himself.

Still, he found himself walking over the sky bridge just two days later. A quick glance at his watch confirmed him that her medical training would end in about ten minutes so, he could waylay her. Octavia’s words still echoing in his head, scowling at him, telling him what a complete idiot he was, practically forcing him out of the door. He wasn’t too sure about his sister’s advice but for one point she had been right.

He was downright miserable without Clarke.

When he reached the room, where her training took place, he leaned against a wall, starring at the floor. He had no clue what he should tell her and just hoped she would do most of the talking. Even if it included a lot of screaming and cursing, which he probably deserved anyway.

When the door opened, he immediately raised his head, scanning the people for Clarke.

And then he saw her, looking just as beautiful as she did the last time he saw her. Her blue eyes found him almost at the same time and widened at the sight of him. Bellamy smiled at her slightly, almost scared that she would just ignore him and stomp off.

But, even though, she didn’t return his smile, she walked across the hallway in his direction.


	3. See I just hated being tired 'cause I can't seem to sleep anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy makes a little revelation... Or maybe two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot again! Especially for the comment! :)

_See I just hated being tired ‘cause I can’t seem to sleep anymore_

Never in a million years could he have imagined what it would feel like, having her so close to him again.

In that moment he didn’t care that her eyes weren’t looking at him in awe, the way they used to, he didn’t care that she stopped right before he could actually touch her again, he didn’t care that her mouth wasn’t twisted in his most favorite smile. All he cared about was seeing her again.

“Clarke…” He breathed.

“Where have you been?” She hissed, crossing her arms over her chest and thus destroying the bubble he had been in.

“I…”

“You left me there to wake up all on my own, you didn’t show up again, you just disappeared for almost two whole weeks! Is it so hard to just tell me that you don’t want to be with me anymore instead of letting me figure it all out in my own by ignoring me?”

He stared. “What? No! Clarke… It’s not like that…”

“No?! Well, what reason would someone have to just disappear after…” She trailed off, scooting a carful glance around since people were already looking at them before lowering her voice again. “After what happened that night?!”

He bit his lower lip and took a deep breath. She wouldn’t forgive him if he just kept on lying right to her face. He would lose her for sure and that couldn’t happen. “Can we please talk?”

“I’m listening but you apparently don’t really have an explanation for your behavior. As I said, if you don’t want to see me anymore, just say it! I’m tired of your games…”

He ran a hand through his hair, looking away for a second and meeting the glance of a woman, examining them suspiciously. Annoyance grew inside of him. She wasn’t the only one watching them. Of course people thought it was strange, a guard from Walden talking to a Phoenician girl. When he looked back at Clarke, he noticed how her lower lip was slightly trembling, how her nostrils were wider open than usually, taking in deep breaths and her eyes looked at him in desperation. She was close to crying.

“Come with him.” He just whispered and clasped her arm, tugging her along with him. To his surprise she didn’t fight at all.

Bellamy just had to get away from all the staring eyes, judging him for his origin, being naturally worried about Clarke, eyeing them suspiciously because of him. The worst thing about it was his fear of them being right. What if he actually was bad for Clarke? What if he wouldn’t do anything but hurt her and make matters worse?

She didn’t question him and he was grateful. He wasn’t sure if he would have been able to explain just now. He crossed the sky bridge with her again, heading towards the corridor he lived in but pulled her inside one of the empty stocking rooms before.

His back was still turned on her but he could feel her eyes resting on him. He took a deep breath before he whispered: “Clarke… I love you.”

She took in a sharp breath. “What?”

He knew, he never said these words before, she probably didn’t expect him to ever say these words but now that they were out he felt like a great weight had been lifted from his chest. Finally he turned back to face her and repeated: “I love you.”

A wide smile spread across her face and she took a step towards him but stopped herself. “Then tell me, why did you ignore me? Did I make a mistake?”

“No… It wasn’t because of you…”

She frowned, searching his face for an explanation for his words. He covered his mouth with his hands and closed his eyes for a second.

He could trust her, that’s what he told Octavia. She would never tell anyone, their secret would be safe with her. Furthermore, telling her the truth, having someone carry the burden with him would make everything easier. She would understand, she would support him, help him in the way his mother always failed. He opened his eyes again before he whispered: “There is someone else who really needs me, Clarke. Someone, I can’t just leave.”

She took a step back. “Someone else…”

“Yes.” He reached for her hand. “Her name is Octavia and she… she is my little sister.”


End file.
